January 23, 2020
By: Mindset Coach and Guest Contributor, Amy Pamensky
2020, the year where you’ve claimed that you’re FINALLY going to be courageous and go after your dreams, right?! Now the question is HOW are you going to overcome those pesky thoughts and excuses that have held you back in the past?
If you’re like most people, this is about the time where the excitement around New Years resolutions starts to fade and you may be tempted to go back to your old habits.
Don’t worry beautiful, it’s not your fault if you repeated the same disappointing cycle again this year. Your desire to create new habits in your life is totally possible. But first, you’ll want to clean out the old cobwebs of negative thoughts and limiting beliefs that have held you back in the past.
Your mind is a brilliant, powerful, and complicated organism. It’s said that the average woman has between 60,000-80,000 thoughts per day of which 95% of the same thoughts are repeated over and over again. If you don’t have a system to cleanse your mind then your auto-pilot thoughts will continue to rule all of your habits and behaviors.
So what types of thoughts are important to cleanse?
Primarily you’ll be cleansing the fear-based thoughts that stem from worry, stress, doubt, comparison, and negative self-talk. In doing so, you’ll create space for more love-based thoughts that are supportive, compassionate, and inspiring.
With your new self-loving mindset, you are far more likely to follow through with your dreams and desires. You’ll also start experiencing the benefits of being far more present in your relationships and more focused at work. Releasing the emotional and mental baggage will create a sense of ‘lightness’ and ‘openness’ to welcome in new ideas and opportunities into your life.
There are several methods for cleansing your mind.. so let’s dive in. Shall we?
1. Daily Meditation Practice
Studies show that people who meditate on a regular basis have slower brain waves than non-meditators. Cultivating a daily meditation practice will reduce the chaos in your mind so that you can choose which thoughts you want to act on and which ones you want to release. You can think of meditation as the process of ‘taking out the mental trash’ and dumping out the thoughts that are taking up space your mind.
Recommendation: Start your day with 5 minutes of guided meditation every morning. There are plenty of meditation apps available, my personal favorite is Insight Timer. You can also download my Feminine Frequency Meditation Bundle to access 5-free guided meditations for confidence, intuition, self-love, and body image.
2. Release writing
This therapeutic journaling method can be used at the end of your day to release your thoughts out on paper and get them out of your mind. This is different to regular journaling because it is a ‘stream of consciousness’ writing technique where you write down whatever thoughts or emotions come to your consciousness without worrying about grammar, spelling or what your handwriting looks like.
Recommendation: Set aside 10 minutes at night to write in your journal. Light a candle, put some gentle music on, and create a safe space where you won’t be distracted or interrupted. Set your timer for 10 minutes and start writing until you get everything out on paper. When you are complete, you’ll tear up the paper, burn it, or flush it down the toilet as a ritualistic way of releasing all the thoughts that are not serving you.
3. Switch Your Thoughts From Fear – to Love!
Throughout your day, you are likely to get ‘triggered’ by someone or something that causes your mind to start spinning with fear-based thoughts. Here are some examples of possible triggers:
- Your boss says something about your work and you start questioning yourself
- Someone cuts you off in traffic and you get mad really quickly
- You don’t hear back from a fried and start feeling disappointed or upset
- A family member does that annoying thing they always do and you get frustrated
- You see a woman that you think is ‘prettier’ than you and you start comparing yourself
- You look in the mirror and before you know it you’re judging the areas of your body that you don’t like
The first step to shifting out of fear-based thoughts is to notice that you are having them in the first place. Most of these thoughts are usually sub-conscious so it’s likely you don’t know that they are happening until you pay attention.
Recommendation: Keep a list for 5-days in a row of anything that triggered you. Write down how you immediately responded and what fear-based thoughts came up for you. Next, look at your response and ask yourself “What would love do?” This last part is super important!!!
The answer to this question is based on ‘what would the most loving version of myself do?’ If you were being kind, compassionate, caring, patient, or generous, how would you react? Would you:
- have an honest conversation with the other person?
- say something nicer to yourself when you looked in the mirror?
- realize that your friend is most likely just busy and she’ll get back to you when she can instead of taking it personally?
- be patient with the other person and remind yourself that they are doing the best they know how to do?
Here is the format so you can write it in your journal for your 5-day awareness log:
What was the trigger?:
Fear-based thought or response:
What would love do?
4. Start Your Day Without A Digital Cleanse
Warning! This one might be a little bit challenging at first but don’t worry, it will be life-changing. If you’re someone who opens their eyes in the morning and immediately goes to check your phone, this tip is for you. Starting your day with reading e-mails, checking social media, or looking at your text messages is a guaranteed way to clog up your mind. The morning is the only real time during the day where you can guarantee some alone time. It’s also the best time to get your mindset aligned in a positive place because your subconscious mind is the most impressionable when you are in ‘waking-state’ after sleeping all night.
Recommendation: Turn your phone on airplane mode when you go to sleep. When you wake up in the morning there will be zero distractions or notifications on your screen. Take this time in the morning to say positive affirmations, write in your journal, do a meditation, or take a walk out in nature. Cleansing your mind every morning will set you up for a grounded, relaxed, and self-loving day ahead! Wait until you are done your morning routine (even if it’s just 15 minuets to start) before you turn your phone off airplane mode.
5. Block time off in your calendar for self-care
Do you ever get to the end of your week feeling completely depleted? It’s likely because you were in ‘doing’ mode all the time and didn’t make enough time to clear your mind. Without scheduling time to relax and take care of yourself, it’s easy to over-pack your schedule and push your ‘down-time’ to the side. Carrying around your stress and anxiety all week is exhausting!
Recommendation: Schedule your self-care into your calendar FIRST before you fill your calendar with social arrangements and additional meetings. Some things to consider scheduling in advance are:
- Morning rituals
- Workout classes or when you’re going to the gym
- Beach walks or time in nature
- Facials, massages, mani/pedis
- Time to read or take a bubble bath
Once you have these scheduled in, treat them like they are the most important meeting that you have all week! When you create space to clear your mind and take care of yourself, you can show up with more energy, focus, and enthusiasm for all the other activities in your life.